92 lines
4.8 KiB
Markdown
92 lines
4.8 KiB
Markdown
# I switched back to Microsoft Windows, here's why
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2023-04-01
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As you guys may know if you have been a speedie.site reader for a while, I was a
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Gentoo user, and recently I switched to using Arch full time. However, I am yet
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again switching operating system because I just found out Windows is the best
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operating system ever made.
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## Linux sucks, but Windows is awesome!
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Now, most of you probably use some open source Linux distribution on your
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computer. But Linux is open source, and that's bad. That means Russian
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hackers can steal your porn collection because of course they can see all the
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source code and backdoor it. When you're using Microsoft Windows on the other
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hand, the only one who can access your data is Microsoft, who will send that
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data to the NSA. This also makes sure your data is safe, and that you're
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following the law like any good citizen. When I'm using Windows I feel safe
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and no malware has access to my data. The same cannot be said for Linux or
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any other open source operating system
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These Linux users who never go outside or shower will say that this is malicious,
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or that it is spyware, or any other nonsense but the fact of the matter is the
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government already knows everything about you anyway. You should not care about
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privacy if you have nothing to hide, so of course Linux users have a lot to
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hide. The government would never do anything bad anyway, they only
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want the best for you.
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## Tiling window managers suck
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Why would you use a tiling window manager? Only hackers use those. Tiling
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window managers are also really hard to use, I mean think about all the keybinds
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you need to remember to get good at using one.
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What about speedwm? I'm just kidding, I've been secretly using GNOME for years,
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and I was never using speedwm in the first place. Hating Wayland? Actually,
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I've been using a Wayland session on GNOME for a long time now. As we all
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know, X11 is old and slow, and it's not written in Rust so that makes it
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instantly bad. spmenu? It's just rofi with a theme.
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C programming language? Hell no, it's so hard to learn and it's so old.
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Real programmers use JavaScript for the frontend and Rust for the backend. Recently
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though, I've started using C# which is superior to both of these in
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every way. We all love Micorsoft.
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## Vim is only used by furries, neckbeards and weirdos
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Vim is a meme Linux users force onto new users. In reality, Vim is hard to use and
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it's so slow, I can't even figure out how to exit it. If I can't even exit it,
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how can I use it to write code? Why wouldn't you just use a mouse anyway?
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It's not 1983 anymore, we have modern, proper computers for real people now.
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The only people who still use Vim are neckbeards who want to look cool on
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the internet but in reality don't have a life.
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Visual Studio Code on the other hand is the greatest code editor ever and
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it's what I've been using for months now, while people were under the
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impression that I'm an avid Vim user. It's "open source" so that the
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Linux neckbeards will use it, but uses a mouse, because it's 2023
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and if you're not using a mouse for everything except typing, you're
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lost in the past. It also supports JavaScript plugins and has a lot
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of Microsoft telemetry, so they know you're doing a good job
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writing programs for the future.
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## Installing programs
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Linux users claim that using their terrible package managers is better
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than downloading executables from the internet directly. This is just
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not true, because the package managers can be hijacked remotely by Russia
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to spread propaganda to all of the users. This doesn't happen when you
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download random executables from the internet, because Microsoft Defender
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is guarding your computer, and has a 100% success rate. As soon as malware
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tries to attack your computer, Microsoft Defender is there to stop it.
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## Software minimalism
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Software minimalism is all a big joke. Why do you need your computer to
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use 100MB of system RAM idle? Unused RAM is wasted RAM. Microsoft makes sure
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to leave no RAM wasted, which makes it much better. Unlike suckless, Microsoft
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makes feature complete software that normal people can use. In fact,
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suckless is just a software project created by Microsoft's worst employees
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created to trick Linux users into thinking Linux is unusable, thus getting them
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to move over to Windows. Microsoft makes sure people join the beautiful land
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of Windows, where no one falls for memes, and everyone is secure.
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Conclusion then. After I found out Windows is better than Linux, I have
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decided to stop working on my meme projects, and join Bill Gates in
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helping him build the best operating system for normal people. Linux
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furries and neckbeards, join the land of Microsoft today, stop using the
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Matrix meme, come back to Discord, assist Microsoft and the NSA in
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catching criminals, and become a real member of society today.
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It's only a $100 operating system.
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